Jerry Falwell is Dead: Long Live Jerry Falwell

Conservative evangelist Jerry Falwell died yesterday. Not to spit on the man's grave, but so did 24 people in an attack at a hotel in Pakistan, eight police officers in a roadside bomb in Afghanistan, and one Japanese woman whose severed head was brought in to the police station by her murderer-- her 17 year old son. So in the spirit of the general suffering all around, let's examine this man's life for a second.

One interesting place to start is with President Bush's statement that both he and his wife were "deeply saddened" by Falwell's death, and that he "taught young people to remain true to their convictions and rely upon God's word throughout each stage of their lives." (BBC link)


Just for fun, let's see some famous Falwell quotes as a counterpoint:

FALWELL ON THE 9/11 ATTACKS

"The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad."

ON THE MUSLIM PROPHET MUHAMMAD

"I think Muhammad was a terrorist. I read enough by both Muslims and non-Muslims, [to decide] that he was a violent man, a man of war."



AND FINALLY, THE TELETUBBIES

And specifically his written statement called Parents Alert: Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet, where he outs the character Tinky Winky as a homosexual-- "He is purple - the gay-pride colour; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay-pride symbol."

"As a Christian I feel that role modelling the gay lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children."

He'll be sorely missed. Luckily, there are a hundred other rabble rousing, evangelical voter-drive organizers out there to try to put more "Christian" politicians in office (incidentally, while those politicians mock them behind their backs.) However, these aren't your typical "turn the other cheek" Christians, they're the true believers in Christ and his teachings. What teachings, you ask? Why, classics like "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "worldwide military and economic warfare are acceptable strategies to protect national interests".


Jerry Falwell is dead. Long live Jerry Falwell.